Okay, do these types of things happen to anyone else at grocery stores? It seems no matter where I go people either a. feel the need to talk to me or b. get in my way/annoy me.
For example, about a month ago I was eating dinner at Harris Teeter before heading down the street to tutor. I was just minding my own biz when this man says, "are you a teacher??" I responded no, I just tutor down the street. He then proceeds to go on and on and on about how it's great that I am not a teacher because they treat DC teachers like crap and it's horrible, blah blah. Okay, maybe that's true, but I am trying to eat my dinner and go. Then once that subject ended he went onto something else. He is blah blahing and says, "Oh jeez, you're trying to eat dinner and I am just babbling." I was thinking, "you're right so please shut up!" but obvi didn't want to be rude so I said, "no, it's okay." It really wasn't okay!
Tonight, Whole Foods. Clarendon. That's really all that needs to be said and you know an epic cluster-f is coming into your life. I am trying to get in and out of there as fast as possible, but I am out of quite a few things. I needed some basics like quinoa, couscous, and fresh ground peanut butter (yes, the fresh ground distinction was necessary). So anyhow, I am at the bulk bins getting the couscous, but left my basket by the quinoa. This fool starts scooping the quinoa into the bag like he is in some bulk bin competition, but this must have been his first time at WF because he completely missed half the bag. Where do you think it fell? All in my groceries and my basket!!! He says, "Oh I'm sorry. I made a huge mess, I bet this happens a lot." Umm no sir, you're just a freakin' moron. I remember my first time at the bulk bins WHEN I WAS SIX!!!! Again, I take a deep breath and say, "it's okay."
Next up, trying to get some produce. I am walking back to my basket when this lady just darts in front of me and I have to stop dead in my tracks. Okaaaaaaaaaaay. She just stands there and looks at me and I am thinking, "look lady, you have to move to the side because I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE except backwards and that's not happening!" Finally she steps to the side. Damn straight. I win all battles in Whole Foods.
Last up, man almost takes me out in the dairy aisle. I am about to reach for half & half and he swings around and almost steps right into me and says, "oh sorry." People in Northern VA have a penchant for not paying attention and thinking they're the only ones that exist in this world, but it's like a freakin' social experiment in WF. I should start calling it WTF.
The best part was my checkout. Cashier says, "oh be careful with your bag of quinoa, there's a hole in it and it's spilling." I said, "nope, some guy just spilled half his bag onto my stuff." And she said, "oh an employee or customer?" to which I responded, "customer, clearly his first time shopping at the WF bulk bins."
