2011

Well, I'd be remiss if I didn't blog to reflect on my life in 2011. When I think back to 2011, I truly think of it as the BEST and WORST year of my life. I know that sounds cliché, but it is really the only way to describe 2011 for me. Basically, the bad started at the end of 2010, and continued well into 2011, getting worse in January. I was extremely unhappy with my career, which made me unhappy in life. I just felt lost in life. Was this how I was supposed to feel at 26? Was this it? Could I do this for the next 30 plus years? Even if I found another job, could I leave this one? It was prestigious, paid relatively well, secure, and to be honest a lot of people would kill for that job. My motivation was gone. I had the best work ethic in high school in college. By the time 2011 rolled around it was dead. I was just a shell of myself who came to work, didn't talk to anyone, miserable, barely left my desk, and then left to go home. I let that place suck so much energy out of me all I wanted to do when I got home was work out and retire to my room. I also pushed people away that had nothing to do with any of it, and I regret doing that.

In January I recognized how bad I had let things get and sought out change. From there I focused on how I could make the best of my job until I completed my service agreement. I could choose to be happy at work and suck it up, or I could let it swallow me. I'm stubborn, but slowly I realized the path of least resistance was choosing happiness. I used to think that was straight up bullshit. People would say, "You can choose to be happy." And I would think, "Whatever, how do you choose that if you hate everything around you?" Quite simply, you just do your best to ignore the negative and focus on the positives. I started coming around at work and even had a few thoughts of not quitting. Ha! I must have hit my head those days.

There were other things going on with me too, more personal. I didn't think I would ever deal with it or face it. I am not going to get into that here though because this is a very public forum and I don't believe in sharing ALL with the world! But it has to do with the following theme. I am somewhat of a people pleaser. Hell, I am a complete people pleaser. That might be hard for some to believe, but I really just want everyone to be happy. Unfortunately, up until 2011, I lived my life for others. Almost every decision I made involved me analyzing, "Will this make X happy?" or "What would Y think if I did this?" A noble goal (if I must say so myself, haha), but an unrealistic one. Fact is, you're NEVER going to please everyone. There will always be someone who doesn't agree with you. There will always be someone who doesn't like you for good reason, or not. You can ALWAYS find a way to make yourself happy.

I saw this quote and it resonated with me: "When someone says you've changed, that simply means you have stopping living their life." Have I changed? Yes, a hell of a lot. More than some of you people reading this know. But it's because I changed for myself. And I never knew I could be this happy. At 27, I am the happiest I have ever been in my life and that feels amazing. Is every day rainbows and butterflies? Of course not. In fact, yesterday I was kind of down, but you keep your head up and you keep moving forward. You have one life to live and you'll never get a moment back. So with 2011 being the best and worst, I am looking forward to only the BEST in 2012! (If the world doesn't end!) Sorry I had to.

Happy New Year!

Insanely Busy!

So I haven't blogged lately because I have been insanely busy. There's the normal busy with work and working out, but then you add softball, going out almost every night, whether it be for a drink, party, movie, dinner, or whatever else! Then last weekend I went to another wedding... seventh of the year. Once again, Mike and I murdered the dance floor! Woo, tonight is my first night in two weeks where I think I can catch my breath.

Today I went to a Stella and Dot Trunk Show and got some really cute jewelry so I am excited for that to come! If you don't know about Stella and Dot you should definitely check it out. The Hokies didn't play today, and that's great because they sure could use the extra practice time! That was a pitiful showing.

And tomorrow I am going to meet my best friend's newborn baby. I am so freakin' excited! I bought a bunch of little outfits today, a hat, and a bib. It's ridiculous. I had to walk away or I think I would have bought a whole wardrobe. Maybe if I get back from my parents early enough tomorrow I'll write another post!

Ch-ch-changes

It's been exactly one week since I started my new job, and although that's not exactly a long time, I feel like know I made the right decision. I am excited about my first assignment, the potential opportunities, challenges, and whatever else lies ahead. I've also already met some really great people. Everyone is very friendly and super helpful. Most of all, I'm just so thankful for the opportunity especially in this economy. My future's so bright I gotta wear shades. ;) Hahaha, okay sorry.

Work isn't the only thing though. Life is just good and I feel so relieved that this is where I am in my life right now. You see, a year ago I was in a really bad place. I was extremely unhappy, depressed, anxious, unmotivated (except for running and working out), and I just felt stuck. I recognized that things were bad and that I needed to do something about it. All the changes that I needed to make seemed so overwhelming though. You know how scary the unknown can be and the idea of changing to get there seems insurmountable? You have all these ideas in your head of how things could be or will be, but for the most part it's all in your head. I think being stuck in your own head and not knowing is way worse then taking the risk to figure it out. Actually, I know it's way worse.

Well, I can honestly say I've never been happier because of the changes I made over the past year. Without risk, there is no reward. :)

On another note, I am old. Long gone are the days where I can go out three nights in a row. To be fair, I was out late Friday night (another 4am'er), but then Saturday rolled around and I was worthless. And not a hungover worthless, just a 'I am so tired, I just want to lie on the couch and watch TV all night.' My 22-year-old self is laughing my 27-year-old self.

Nothing Can Rain On My Parade

I really think someone could tell me they hate me and I suck and I'd say, "okay, great!" and not care one bit. I am in such a good mood. Everything is working out and for the first time in a long time everything feels right! Even better tomorrow is Friday and it's the freakin' weekend!

I made the dumbest move on metro this afternoon. I'm on the platform and it says a "Vienna" train is approaching so stupidly I just get on the train without checking to make sure it was an orange line train. I kept thinking to myself, "man the train is really empty today." Well, duh, there was a reason for that. All the sudden we leave Rosslyn and two minutes later I am seeing daylight! This is NOT supposed to happen on my commute because I'm underground the whole time. I start freaking out and realize I must have gotten on a blue line train. No worries, I got off at Arlington National Cemetery and turned myself around! Taylor, five months ago, would have freaked out and been so pissed. But I just rolled with it! It happens.

Then after I got home I had an awesome 5.2 mile run even though it's another scorcher out there. All my good fortune almost ended though when I was running through a crosswalk in which I had the WALK sign and Granny comes barrelling into the crosswalk and gets a foot from me before slamming on her brakes. I threw my arms in the air, screamed, and yelled, "!@$%" as I kept running from her. I could tell she was freaked out too, but come on. I've said it before and I'll say it again, people do not pay attention!!

Winning At Many Things

Life, negotiating, and running. First of all, I am waiting to hear about something and once it's final then I can talk about it on here, but since this is really public and you don't need an account to read it I don't want to talk about it yet. Secondly, I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but I mothereffing hate COMCAST WITH A FIERY PASSION!

So I called Verizon to ask them something about my Internet (thank god I only have cable through Comcrap) and they mentioned that I could get faster Internet plus FIOS for $69.99. Umm what? I pay $72 for Comcrap plus $22 for Verizon Internet. Yep, they can set me up with a sweet deal for $69.99. Will it lock me into a contract? Nope! Sounds too good to be true. Let me call Comcrap and see if I can drop their asses like a bad habit. Oh yes I CAN! Here's the exchange:

Comcrap: I am sorry to hear you want to cancel. Why is that?
Me: Oh, I just HATE COMCAST and can't stand your service, plus I am getting a way better deal with Verizon.
Comcrap: We're sorry to hear that! What do you not like about it?
Me: Everything. The service, the technicians and their timing or lack thereof, the price...
Comcrap: Oh, well we see you called x and x, and we had someone there x. Did they not resolve the problem? And we can give you a deal for...
Me: No! I don't care anymore, I already signed up for Verizon. I want to give a date to cancel my service.
Comcrap: Okay ma'am.

So I call Verizon back and they gave me FIOS with HD, 220 channels, fastest Internet connection available, and free DVR for 3 months at $69.99 a month! WINNING! I can't wait for July 26.

On to the next thing. This is random, but I feel the need to talk about elevator etiquette. I don't really have a problem with this except at work. I want to say that it is weird if it's just you and me in the elevator and you face me. STAND FORWARD. Not only are you facing me, but you're staring at me. Very AWKWARD. Also, if you're waiting for the elevator to come get you (and I know you might have been waiting a long time) stand to the side! It's rude when everyone is flooding out of the elevator and you're blocking the way because you're trying to get on the elevator. Lastly, DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT, press a floor and then not get off on it. I am trying to go to the 11th floor asshole. I already have to stop at 2, 3, 5, 8, and 10, THEN 11. Do you think I also want to stop on the fourth floor to check out the scenery because you pressed the button not knowing what day it is and that you really work on the fifth floor?!

Do not be this tool

Times Are A-Changin'

Or at least I hope so. I was stressing about something I had Tuesday evening but it went really well. Actually better than expected. I have a great opportunity, but hopefully I can work out some life issues that go along with it so I can take it. It's funny because I never thought I'd be here at this crossroads, but I am happy. I am so happy. And I wouldn't be here if I hadn't gone through all the bullshit, highs, lows, what ifs, and unknowns. If you want things to change you have to do something about it yourself because no one is going to do it for you. I think these lyrics by The Weepies say it all: "You know there will be days/When you're so tired/That you can't take another step/The night will have no stars/And you'll think you've gone as far/As you will ever get....But in the end, the only steps that matter/Are the ones you take all by yourself."

It's hard to want to make a change. It's even harder to actually MAKE that change. People will doubt you. You'll doubt yourself and wonder if you should do it, but you know what's best deep down. And if I have learned anything over the past six months it's that you should never, ever live your life for someone else. You're never going to please everyone so do what makes you happy. I think some people might try to talk me out of my decision if that's what I decide to do, but I know what I know. And you know what? That ship sailed, it's in the effing Indian Ocean by now and it ain't coming back!

There's one other thing that I hope works out, but I am trying to just let that be and what's meant to be will be! I.HATE.NOT.BEING.IN.CONTROL! Ahhhhh, so much has happened this week. On another note, what does everyone think of Google+? I like it, but it's kind of boring so far. I am guessing that will change once more people are on it. Then again I don't like the functionality so far; everything seems so disjointed.

And I will leave you with this gem. I am OBSESSED!!

Totally Terrific Tuesday

I know you like my use of alliteration in the blog title. I do because I loved English in high school and actually, I still love it. After having three and a half days off I thought going back to work today was going to be rough, but it really wasn't. You know the saying, "this too shall pass" means so much more to me as of late. People say that all the time and you think yeah, yeah, whatever, shut up. But I can't tell you how different things are from January to now, and even March to now. I didn't believe things would change in January, and that what I was going through would pass, but it did. One thing I will mention is that I hated, HATED my job this past fall/winter. Now, I am in a different place and it just doesn't matter as much to me. Sure, we're there 40 hours a week (more for others), but now I realize there is so much more to life. My job isn't who I am and it doesn't define me unless I let it. The one thing that never lets me down at work is my coworkers (well most of them anyway, ha). We have been through so many ups and downs together, but still know how to have fun.

And you know what else I have to talk about today? I am sure it's not hard to guess. CASEY FREAKIN' ANTHONY. Oh yes. I'll be honest, I did not follow this trial much. I followed the story back in the day because that was at a time when I used to know every single current event going on. About nine months ago I stopped reading most of it. This world really is too depressing and keeping up with all that stuff is a real downer. Alright, so the jury found her not guilty. Honestly, I do believe that was the right verdict. The evidence (or lack thereof) was circumstantial. This wasn't about the jury, the defense, or even really the prosecution. The fact of the matter is the prosecution barely had a case because investigators botched it from the beginning. It was an inept investigation that could have never resulted in a guilty verdict. And you know what? That's awesome and sucks at the same time. We live in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA where you're innocent until proven guilty. They did not prove she was guilty. We just celebrated our freedom yesterday and our justice system is part of what makes America great. We screw up. We get it wrong. People end up in jail who should not be there. People who should be there get off (cough, OJ, cough), but it's the way it goes. I do believe Casey Anthony did it (my opinion, which I am entitled to here in America!), but the jury was right. In the end Casey Anthony has to live with what she did. I believe "what goes around, comes around" and Casey Anthony will not go unpunished. And we can't forget the most important person in all of this, her daughter, Caylee Anthony. Poor child was barely alive before she was taken out of it. That's the tragedy and hopefully she is resting in peace.